Monday, January 26, 2009

Where Am I At?

It has been 5 weeks since posting any update.

Yesterday was a really bad day. Today wasn't a lot better. I realized today while talking a bit for the first time with my wife about just how much my life has been affected. Today marks 16 weeks from the day I was hit by the car.

To some degree, I've acclimated. I miss my "old life." I miss the time that I got to spend riding my bike. There's a level of relaxation and reflecting that I have always enjoyed. In contrast, I find the time I spend in the car stressful and distracting.

I have continued to have physical therapy twice a week that require adjustments in my work schedule. I compensate for the hours I miss while at therapy by working later most nights of the week. Work consumes all of my attention. Unable to "multi-task" I have basically had zero social contact. To anyone who I may have once kept in touch with, please accept my apologies... Stressed out and with a difficulty in concentration it seems like everything I do takes twice as long as it once did. Even this post has required at least a week...

I have come to hate the question: “How are you?” In the past, I never cared for the half-question/half statement (what I call a "quatement.") This quatement has become as much a general greeting for many as a conversation starter. Nobody really wants to hear the true response. Today being a Friday, I know that I think about it more than normal, whatever normal is now.

For me, I have always done a sort of self-diagnostic on a regular basis asking myself what the real answer is to that question of how I am doing. For what has now been 16 weeks, I’ve been unable to answer that question knowingly or honestly. Living life in limbo; I’ve got a lot of things up in the air and I find myself in the position of being way out of control of the management process.

I've always tried very hard to maintain a perspective on where I was, how I was feeling physically and emotionally. My rides were motivating. Feeling like I was in control over what I could do physically, how hard to push myself, knowing what my limits were and understanding what I could do to push myself.

Where am I at? To say that I am frustrated is a gross understatement.

My doctor has strongly recommended that I reduce the risk of further injury of my foot/ankle suggesting that I not ride or run outdoors. I’ve been following the recommendations of my doctor, performing my physical therapy exercises regularly, but have reached a plateau in recovery. Stir-crazy and in need of some form of physical activity, I’ve turned to my rollers in the basement; something I haven’t done in at least 10 years. Still in pain, weak, my conditioning has declined to the point where about the maximum I can handle is an hour on the rollers with no resistance.

I met this week with a different doctor about different physical therapy at Physician' Neck and Back. She was optimistic and confident that they can help with the limited range of motion in my neck and reduce the pain in my back.

Insulted by the way I have been treated by the insurance company on my bicycle. I understand things take time, but it’s now been 3 ½ months. I am waiting to hear on a couple of potential new bicycle acquisitions. One is a project in the works for quite some time. I have been waiting for a year-plus for a new touring frame. With the need for a dedicated commuter, I requested the builder construct a new super-commuter in place of the touring bike and ordered one of the Bruce Gordon BLT touring rigs as a temporary measure. Waiting to hear anything about that too…

We broke down and purchased a second family vehicle and given up on borrowing the “farm car” as it seems like reliable motor-vehicle transportation is now (but hopefully temporarily) a requirement. Could we have gotten by without buying? Yes, certainly. As much as I enjoyed the freedom and ideals of owning only one car, I knew in the back of my mind that it was something we would do again. The plan/requirement was accelerated a couple of years though.

6 comments:

Jim Thill said...

Hey Ken. Just wanted to let you know that we're thinking about you at HC, and wishing you the best (for whatever that's worth). Every few days, Kevin or Mark asks me if I've heard from you, so I know you're on their minds, too.

Anyway, I hope to see you soon. Hopefully your recovery and return to the bike will coincide with some nicer weather.

bicycletorch said...

I'll just have you know that whenever I ask people how they are, I really mean it. I try not to sugar coat my responses in hopes that other people will do the same. That being said, it was really great to have dinner with everyone the other night. Looking forward to NAHBS.

Paul said...

Ken,

I am glad to see that you decided to post again. I hope that you can keep your head up! Be as patient as humanly possible and all will come around! Stay positive Ken!

There are more people out here that have been thinking of you than you would ever imagine.

-d said...

Glad to know you are alive and kickin'. Been wondering how things were going and glad to hear you are on the rollers. Congrats on the BG.

NAHBS, let me know if you are going. I'll be there sometime friday evening and would dig sharing a beer.

Me said...

Ken-

Chloe, Amy & Me send you and yours our best wishes, truly.

All things come to pass, and this will too: someday soon you'll be looking back at this period and saying something like, "Man, that sucked -BAD- but damn, I got thru it".

Stay Strong.

-Me [Us]

reverend dick said...

I wish you well.

Blog Archive